Actress and trans activist Alexandra Billings recalled a key moment working with Eric Dane on Grey's Anatomy
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Even though they didn't know each other well, she said that how he treated her exemplified the kind of person he was
"Eric Dane showed everyone on that set what a true ally looks like," she said on Instagram the day after the actor died at age 53
Actress and trans activist Alexandra Billings shared an emotional memory of working with Eric Dane onGrey's Anatomyfollowing the actor's death at age 53.
TheTransparentactress, 63, fought back tears as she recalled Dane's meaningful act of allyship on the set of the drama series in a video posted toInstagramon Feb. 20, the day after hedied of complications from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), a.k.a. Lou Gehrig's disease.
Billings was cast as Donna Gibson, a trans woman navigating a breast cancer diagnosis while transitioning, during season 3 of the ABC show. While she noted that she doesn't remember "everything" about filming the episode and that Dane was "not a personal friend," she still felt the "story matters because it speaks to his character."
"I got the role onGrey's Anatomy, which was shocking to me. I hadn't done a lot of television, and I was floored. This was 2006," she explained. "Now, 20 years ago, the landscape for transgender performers in Hollywood was the Sahara Desert; it was nonexistent."
When she got the script, she remembered thinking, "'Did a trans person write this?' Because the character was so honest and so true."
Billings explained that in the episode, titled "Where the Boys Are," her character was "dying," as her "hormones were causing breast cancer" and if she continued using them, she would most likely die. The alternate option was to stop using the hormones so doctors could treat her with a higher chance of success.
Her character had a "huge monologue" in the episode, which Billings noted was "incredible" and beautifully written. Despite memorizing the scene, Billings said she was "terrified" and "nervous" when she got to set that day.
"I meet Eric, who is lovely, and we do our first scene together," she recalled. "The first scene is Eric and my character, Donna, explaining to Ellen [Pompeo], and he's misgendering me a little bit, and we have this great little back-and-forth scene. We do it a couple of times, and the director says, 'Cut.' "
It was then that Dane, who portrayed Dr. Mark Sloan on the show, turned to Billings and asked about her own real-life experience transitioning in the '80s.
"Eric turns to me between takes and says, 'Alex, listen, what happened between you and your doctor when you talked to him about hormones and treatment? What transpired?' "
Billings, aware that "this is television" and they "don't have time" to waste, was hesitant to open up, fearing that she just needed to "say [her] lines" and keep it moving.
Sensing her hesitancy, Dane told her, " 'It's okay, I really want to know.' "
"The entire set stops and listens to me because of Eric. Again, this was 20 years ago," Billings recalled. "I say, 'Well, I began my transition in 1980, and back then, it was illegal.' His eyes got really wide, and he said, 'You're kidding.' I said 'No. You couldn't walk down the streets of Chicago if you were transgender, and I spent some time in jail because I was walking down the street. You had to have two articles of what they called male clothing on, or they would haul you off. ' "
She then told him about her doctor, explaining how the medical professional showed quiet yet powerful support, emphasizing that "it wasn't so much the conversations, it was his demeanor."
"Dane said, 'What do you mean?' ... and I said, 'Being a transgender human at that time was unheard of. We didn't know where any of us were ... We were really alone, and [my doctor] would take my hand or touch my knee, or hold me and let me know hesawme, no matter what we were talking about. It was less important about the hormones and much more important about how he treated me.' "
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When they filmed the scene again, Dane's demeanor changed.
"We start the scene again and as we are talking, Eric puts his hand on my shoulder, and then we do another take and Eric puts his hand right on my thigh or my knee," she recalled, growing emotional. "And then at the end of the scene, he takes my hand —this isn't in the script — he holds my hand, and I put my hand on top of his."
"I know how mundane this sounds, but back then, it changedeverythingfor me. This compassionate, kind, brave human being changed everything for me," Billings confessed through tears.
When it was time for Billings to perform her "page-and-a-half" monologue, however, the director kindly told her they would have to cut it for time.
Although Billings was "destroyed" on the inside, she told him it was okay, but Dane knew it was important to her and the entire trans community.
"Eric, he is sitting on a chair, and we're very close together. I'm sitting on a couch, and we're facing each other in this scene," she remembered. "And Eric puts his hand up and he turns to me and he says very quietly, 'What are the five most important things you say in that monologue?' "
When she tried to tell him it was fine, he simply repeated the question. When she finally told him, Dane suggested they do a condensed version of the scene, hitting the most important parts of the monologue while improvising the rest to cut down on time.
"And that's what you see in the episode," Billings said. "Let me tell you why this is so important that you know this about this man: He didn't have to do that."
"There was no reason in the world for him to do that. It didn't have anything to do withhim. He was concerned that the trans story was told from an honest and true place so that other trans people could see themselves reflected in this story. That's why he did what he did."
She noted that "time is money, especially in television," and he "didn't have to do that" but knew it was the right thing.
Billings went on to say that Dane was "one of the kindest, most empathetic humans I think I've ever worked with."
The actress noted that she "could count on one hand" the number of times she left a set feeling truly moved, and that "extraordinary" moment with Dane was one of them.
"Eric Dane showed everyone on that set what a true ally looks like. It's not just talk. It's not just speeches. It's not even just benefits or writing a check or talking to your neighbors — it is those things, but it's notjustthose things."
"An ally takes action. An ally creates change. An ally is present, even when there's danger in them being present and that's what Eric Dane did," she said through tears.
"I didn't know him, but I absolutelyknewhim. He will be missed," she concluded. "Thank you, Eric. Thank you, from all of us."
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